Where's the macho man of the past?

METROSEXUAL

This is an interesting word right? I never actually paid much attention to it till i was in poly, then i started to get the gist of what a metrosexual meant-loves shopping, loves wearing fashionable clothes, owns 36 pairs of shoes and won't be caught dead wearing the same underpants two days in a row.

I don't know why the word irritated me so much. But i knew it was going out of hand when i saw John Ho and i also knew somewhere out there a smart-ass little schmuck was drinking his latte and smiling and feeling very pleased with himself over the new word he invented.

I wanted to know more before i took a swipe at the lunacy surrounding the phenomenon. And so i faithfully turned to the divine knowledge, the omniscient sage, the all knowing: GOOGLE.

i found three very interesting definations

"A metrosexual is a clotheshorse wrapped around a dandy fused with a narcissist."
"A young man concerned with self-image, self-indulgence and money."
"A young man who is seen, sociologically, as having attributes common to homosexuals, but is in fact heterosexual. "

Interesting and disturbing...

To break it down, metrosexuals are vain, egocentric fops who are are so wrapped up with the label on their clothing and gloss in their hair that if you were to scratch on the fine veneer of their moisturised skin, you'll find they have nothing to offer to society other than their youth and beauty and a generous amount of SK II under your fingernails.

All that said, you gotta give smart-ass little schmuck points for brevity. Although not as much for originality as there's already an existing phrase describing people like that for quite some time.

We call them "sissy bastards" and laugh when we see their excessively straightened backs sporting colourful shirts.

However, despite our general mockery and contempt, it seems like metrosexuals are gaining ascendency. With ambassadors such as Ben Affleck and David Beckham and Justin Timberlake, they're not a target for scorn anymore, now they've become objects of envy and desire. Its not just become cool, cool the way voting for PAP's opposition is cool, its become friggin requirement, requirement the way voting for PAP is a requirement, to get all dressed up and prance around like little ponies with these faggots.

I remember watching/reading this article on girls in singapore, something like "are they misunderstood or are they lesbo" (not exactly that crude but...) Then i realised...hmm...argh!!!

I should blame women for creating this new breed of man. They're the vanguards of fashion trends, they sport cool clothes to make guys notice them. And conversely, their effete counterparts follow their lead to try to impress them into bed. Ask most guys what they rather be doing if sex isn't an option i assure you both filth and sloth would make up a large share of the response.

Another reason why women are to be blamed for the rise of metrosexuals is the latent bisexuality of a vast majority of women. Most women are now either bisexual or turned on by other women but are too squermish to give it a try. Effete men are the next best thing to being lesbian. So these guys are in for the party of their lives until hopefully yet another dumb trend withers the way hello Kitty went. Which is really unfair to maledom as we have to stoop to such low levels just to get some.

And on a completely different note...i have gay jokes...original...tell me if they're any good...

How do you fit four gay guys on a stool?
Turn it upside-down.

Did you hear about the gay malaysian politician?
He loved women...
Guess thats why they didn't want to sell us any more water
they wanted to know us how it feels to taste processed shit in our mouth.